Garden Humor – Gardening Jokes To Brighten Your Day

By Susan Albert | April 1, 2020
Image by Zuberka
by Susan Albert
April 1, 2020

Every gardener has a sense of humor. It’s a requirement for the hobby – or job. How else can we survive all the missteps and surprises? Here are some garden observations from around the internet that all gardeners can identify with. Plus, there’s a few silly jokes, too. Enjoy!

Jokes about Gardening

A toddler was found chewing on a slug. After the initial surge of disgust, the parent said, “Well, what does it taste like?”  “Worms,” was the reply.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

What kind of tree can fit into your hand? A palm tree!

Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a garden? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!

Sad but true”¦

  • Hard work doesn’t harm anyone, but I do not want to take any chances.
  • The only way to ensure rain is to give the garden a good soaking.
  • Weeds grow at precisely the rate you pull them out.
  • Nothing ever looks like it does on the seed packet.
  • Autumn follows summer, winter follows autumn, drought follows planting.
  • However bare the lawn, grass will appear in the cracks between the patio paving stones.
  • When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Garden Humor Terminology

The real meaning of plant catalog terminology:

  • “A favorite of birds” means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clotheslines.
  • “Grows more beautiful each year” means “Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future.”
  • “Zone 5 with protection” is a variation on the phrase “Russian roulette.”
  • “May require support” means your daughter’s engineering degree will finally pay off.
  • “Moisture-loving” plants are ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps.
  • “Carefree” refers more to the plant’s attitude than to your workload.
  • “Vigorous” is code for “has a Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world.”
  • Knee: a device for finding rocks in your garden.
  • “Annuals” mean disappointment once a year.
  • Hardy plant: really means “hearty” to wildlife and a wholesome meal.

I consider every plant hardy until I have killed it myself.””” Politician and botanist Sir Peter Smithers

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  • Bella Burrows
    Comment added April 15, 2022Reply

    I am the President of the Penrith City Garden Club and would like tips to share with our Members.

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